Greatest Man That Ever Lived

I have previously stated my LOVE for the Olympics. I had a very special place in my heart for the Beijing Olympics, the opening ceremonies (which were hands down the best I have seen) just happened to take place on my birthday, aka Beijing Birthday Bash. So when golden boy, Michael Phelps, rocked the world by demolishing all pervious Olympic medal standards, I developed a crush.

Reasons for crush:

1. Attended the University of Michigan.Go Blue!
2. I personally love swimming, To Quote Little Edie "I only cared about three things: the Catholic Church, swimming, and dancing.."
3. The guy's pretty funny, did you see SNL? Two words, Fancy Pants.
4. Male swimmers always have rockin' hot bods.

Sure sure, Perez Hilton said he would be more attractive with a paper bag over his head. However, I can look past the jaw bones that could possibly be that of a child's. In my book-- he may be the closest thing to a super hero or bionic man, cue Weezer - Greatest Man That Ever Lived. I believe this song may have been written with M. Phelps in mind.

While perusing some websites trying to find some info on the Tiger Woods press conference, I came across an article with the headline of "Phelps Announcement London 2012." I nearly passed out with excitement...and then I saw the picture...

(Image courtesy of Yahoo)

WTF Phelps' stylist? Were they attempting an Austin Powers' look? The shirt and tie = nice, clean cut look. The jacket = epic fail. Is it made of flame retardant material? Is it made of a safety blanket? What up with the mini neck roll? Is that supposed to protect him from whip lash in case he crashes while remaining seated in that motionless bobseld? And who's the dude behind him?

You may ask, "What is M. Phelps waving at?" The answer, friends, his career--the London Olympics will be his last. His reasoning, he doesn't want to swim "after the age of 30." Lame-O.

I'm sad to announce, my crush-o-meter of Phelps has dropped several points after reading this article. Maybe, just maybe, the utterly awkward stationary bobsled photo is a precursor. M. Phelp's next challenge...bobsledding??