United Estates of Madge (Easter Edition)

Surprisingly, there are not many sales during the Easter weekend. My addiction was not fully fed this past week!

The one sale I BCF and I went to did not cease to surprise and amaze. It was in an a really neat old neighborhood with funky 70's eccentric ranch houses.

Was it the green shag carpet in the solarium that surprised me?

BCF "petting" the carpet.

No.

Was it that knife randomly sticking out of a plant for sale?

"Sir, are you aware there is a machete sticking out of plant?" BCF to Estate Sale dude.

No.

It was the bottles of 3/4 drank booze for sale, for quite a bit more than they were worth...

Example A: Wild Turkey with a $2 price on the lid.

Examples B, C, D, and so on: Behind Wild Turkey bottle.

It's been a few weeks since I've purchased anything Madge would be able to use, so I treated myself this week.

A pretty/dainty black clutch.

My favorite part...

The small coin purse attached by a chain and the lovely tan satin.

A pretty handkerchief, necklace, and jewelry box.

The jewelry box has seen better days, but it still works. I was really intrigued by the green velvet interior. It also still has a price tag on the bottom from Kaufman's of Philadelphia.

The necklace is very unique. It doesn't clasp, so those lovely gold colored pieces hang. Looks great doubled around the neck.

And lastly, a pair of brown gloves. Because it's 80+ degrees, ya know...

The cut/fit on the gloves is beautiful, and with the button detail...I couldn't pass it up.

I hope the Easter Bunny delivered everyone's Peeps and Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs. Mr. MTM and I grilled out for the first time this year, he had to work quite a bit of the day, and it was such a lovely afternoon! I would also like to note that I successfully lit said grill--charcoal at that! Thanks to BCF's hubby for walking me through it!

Total Spent by Madge: $15.00

United Estates of Madge (What Was That All About Edition)

$5 plates, a bust of Elvis, Grecian urns, a John Paul Gaultier armoire, and dresses worn by Miss South Carolina. These are just a few items that this bizarro sale had today; it was so bizarro I could not wait until Sunday to include with my other updates.

First off, the driveway...the grade on this bad boy had to be at least 30%. BCF and I were panting when we got to the top.

Here's BCF almost tumbling down the driveway.

We finally summit the driveway and make it inside. The house is SPECTACULAR. Just amazing. But everything is way overpriced. There was a complete room of Christmas Ornaments and the cheapest one started out at $5...that's how over priced we are talking.

We made our way into the basement area, where the more affordable things are located. And out of no where we are bombarded by this overpowering voice letting us know that everything was for sale, including all the fixtures. BCF then strikes up a convo about where this 6'7" man who may or may not be gay, who is also clearly intoxicated, is moving to. "Oh I'm moving home to Ohio to take care of my parents."

This is when Madge chimes in, "Oh really, I'm from Michigan." Candied homeowner then asks where I am from. I tell him the small town I grew up in, and in a rage of excitement exclaims that he "LOVES" that town. Here I am thinking, wait a moment...are we speaking of the same town? Because I know no one who really "LOVES" that town.

He then proceeds to explain that he used to be a professional Polish dance teacher...wanted to know if I polkaed...if I was Polish, etc. Ohh, we opened a can of worms.

Somehow we snuck out without him noticing and started to make our way to the other sections of the house...

Here is the pool lined with statues.

Bust of Elvis in the living room.

We made it half way through the living room when he screamed across the house at us, "Hey Polish Girl...let's polka." He proceeded to come over to where he danced and sang and gave me lots of hugs, and long hugs at that. At one point I mouthed out, "HELP ME" to BCF. I understand that it must be hard to sell your a-freaking-mazing house and earthly possessions; however we have crossed the friendly bubble barrier.

The strangest thing we came across had to have been in the bathroom. Now, it's quite apparent that I am one for a good monogram. However, this...takes the cake for any sort of personalization I have ever thought of.

Ladies and gentlemen, that is a roll of monogrammed toliet paper.

I ended up snagging two cute funky magnets.

Lucy and Desi.

1952 Hebrew National Frakfurter Queen.

We high tailed it outa' there before we had to come in contact with the Polish dancing king. The journey down the driveway was even more difficult that the way up. We literally had to walk sideways.

Total Spent by Madge: $2.00

We got in the car and BCF turned to me and said, "What the hell was that all about?"

Stick Families

There's no escaping them-they have infiltrated towns across America. Odds are you've seen one; perhaps in a mall parking lot or driving down the road.

I'm talking about "stick family" window decals. You've got Dad, Mom, Johnny, Susie-- complete with Baxtar the dog and Fluffy the cat. And if you are truly lucky, you'll be informed of their last name and what sports their kids may play.

I get it, you're proud of your perfect frickin' family and feel it's necessary to broadcast it across the back of your Honda CRV.

But what about those individuals that don't qualify for a stick fam? What about those peeps (like Madge) who have made lifestyle choices to further their career? What about the eccentric types? Or the single ladies--do they get a stick? What would Beyonce say?

During a mid-morning conference call that had no information pertaining to me--I decided to draft some of my "dysfunctional stick figure" prototypes...

On a side note--if you live in a state like the Peach or the Sunshine State, where the county you reside in is listed on your license plate; you may want to shy away from having such a personal stick fam. I'm talking to you lady with the Tahoe and very unique last name, that usually parks on the 5th floor, with 3 kids, a husband, and 2 dogs, and lives in a county not far from where we work. To me--you are setting yourself up to be on MSNBC's "How to Catch a Predator." And frankly, if you've watched the show you don't want any of those crazies or the host, Chris Hansen, in your life.

On a second side note--Imagine what the Duggar family stick family would look like...

United Estates of Madge (Puppet Edition)

DAY 3 of "The Puppet Show" we went to a few estate sales. Not as many large items as last week, but still picked up some gems!

At our first stop, MP found this lovely hand painted little dish to house her jewels in next to her sink...

We also witnessed one of the strangest things I have EVER seen, and believe me, I have seen some strange ass things in my life.

This house had one of those really creepy, dungeon-esque, someone's going to kidnap you and hold you hostage, basements. I'm talking, MP and I held hands as we walked down the stairs it was that atrocious.

They had book shelf after book shelf of old books, boxes, just a LOT of stray, aimless, and, moldy stuff. We were rounding the corner when we see this old man, (who looks like he may or may not have rolled out of bed and came straight to the sale his hair was going every direction--he might have just been loco) walking a little strange.

Well, my eyes slowly scanned down his side and realized why he was walking strange, HOLY SHIT THAT MAN IS HOLDING A GUN. And when I say gun, I'm not talking about a shiny new "Saturday-night special," I'm talking a dusty pistol perhaps used in the take down of a concentration camp and could perhaps misfire at any second. The crazy people running this estate sale are selling old ass pistols in creepy basements.

I could only think of the convo I would have to have MP's mum, "Soo...I took your daughter to this estate sale this weekend, and while we were digging for stuff in this disturbing basement, some octogenarian shot and killed your daughter with a piece of weaponry from Nazi occupied Paris, accidentally."

I quickly grab for MP, who has now realized the crazy old man is indeed packing heat, and we haul ass outa there.

So...we're traveling down the highway; jamming out to some GaGa en route to our second sale, when all of a sudden we are at a complete stand still. WTF? It's Saturday afternoon, this should NOT be happening--traffic should be flowing seamlessly. Simultaneously, MP and I look to our left and gasp, this is the sight that we saw...

Holy shit, a brush fire!!! Those orange spikes just above the metal guard rail are flames, folks. Being on point, MP grabbed the camera and got some good footage.

It was a hot, smoldering mess. On a side note, this was the second fire that we had seen in less than 24 hours. On our way back from the aquarium there was an apartment fire. Birzarro, no?

At the next sale MP snagged a fab necklace.

It already looks great in her jewelry dish...

Total spent by MP: $3.00

The last house we went to seemed as if someone had not opened a window or a door in at least three years. The dust was thick, the smell of mold overpowering, and the crazies running the show were in full effect. I however scored some awesome finds.

The first is this quirky little dish...

If you just asked yourself, "Is that a naked cupid taking a picture of a couple with the phrase good luck above them?" The anwer is yes, you are correct! Quirky, right? Not sure what I'm going to do with it yet, but I'm sure some scathingly brilliant idea will come to me.

Right before we passed out due to dust inhaliation, I caught a glimpse of these plates. I'm in the middle of reading Gone With the Wind, and I couldn't help thinking that I thought these ladies pictured were Scarlet and Miss Melly.

I plan on using the small plates for coasters. Here's an example on my bedside table with a good read (and a fabulous eye mask!)

During one of the first sales, I snagged this polka dotted scarf.

Total spend by Madge: $4.00

Minus the series of bizarro events, it was a great shopping day!!