United Estates of Madge: United Estates of Madge (Officer...I Don't Know What to Say Edition)

It all started with a text message to BCF's Husband.

Madge: "Would it be possible to strap a queen size mattress and box spring to the top of the Saab?"
BCF Hub: "Uhhh no. I will help you pick them up tomorrow."

So, in an old school Bronco, with the top removed, and the slight shadow of Lumpkin County Sheriff imprinted on the side; we made our way bright and early to the sale determined to get a frickin' mattress.

"It's kinda' like being in a convertible."

Flash back to the day before...

After leaving Scottie's house on Saturday--I had to feed my addiction and hit up a sale. They had lovely pieces and very reasonable prices...the catch, CASH only.

Cash? What is that? Is that even a currency people carry anymore?

Lucky for Madge, I did have $30 big ones one on me.

After a bit of digging in the basement, I came across this amazing old steamer trunk. I immediately thought it would look absolutely fabulous in front of windows in the living room. After confirming the measurements with Mr. MTM the deal was sealed and I left with a trunk.

While loading the trunk in my car, one of the guys running the sale told me everything was going to be half off tomorrow. "Ooooo half off," I thought to myself. "What did I see that I need? OH MY GOD--that queen size mattress and box springs!" It would solve my epic bedroom problem!

By the time I ended my chit chat, it was closing time. All I could think about was making it back to the sale tomorrow at 10 AM to get the mattress and box springs.

Flash forward to BCF's Husband and I traveling en route to the sale....

Madge: "You're going to be turning at the next street."
BCF Hub: "Where?"
Madge: "This next street on the left."
BCF Hub: "Which one."
Madge: "The one you just passed."

BCF's Hub being an American bad ass puts the car in reverse (on a one way street) and backs up!! Shortly after we started our reverse motion, sirens and lights could be heard and seen. Shit--how did we not see that police officer sitting in that parking lot?

I'll spare the details, we got off easy...and I didn't even have to cry. But we are now 16 minutes behind schedule.

Made it to the sale--high tailed it up stairs, and the mattress and box springs are still there. OH JOY! BCF's hub and I did a wee bit more shopping, picked up some lovely planters for $1.50 a piece.

Flanking either side of the garage door.

As I'm about to hand the estate sale lady my money, BCF's husband comes running up to me and exclaims that the bed is a full not a queen. The loud cry that I let out startled everyone in the checkout line. My heart sunk.

Estate sale lady came through--she explained they had a bed that they weren't advertising and she believed it was a queen. We checked it out, it was in good shape, and indeed a queen. I pay. BCF's hub loads the mattress; I grab the planters.

As I approached the Bronco, BCF's hub whispers to me that we just "robbed them." I looked at him inquisitively, and he directed me to look at the tag.

Friends, I purchased a Sealy Posterpedic Pillowtop Back RX mattress that retails for $699 for $40...including the box springs!

And I'm no longer sleeping on the floor..