Stick Families

There's no escaping them-they have infiltrated towns across America. Odds are you've seen one; perhaps in a mall parking lot or driving down the road.

I'm talking about "stick family" window decals. You've got Dad, Mom, Johnny, Susie-- complete with Baxtar the dog and Fluffy the cat. And if you are truly lucky, you'll be informed of their last name and what sports their kids may play.

I get it, you're proud of your perfect frickin' family and feel it's necessary to broadcast it across the back of your Honda CRV.

But what about those individuals that don't qualify for a stick fam? What about those peeps (like Madge) who have made lifestyle choices to further their career? What about the eccentric types? Or the single ladies--do they get a stick? What would Beyonce say?

During a mid-morning conference call that had no information pertaining to me--I decided to draft some of my "dysfunctional stick figure" prototypes...

On a side note--if you live in a state like the Peach or the Sunshine State, where the county you reside in is listed on your license plate; you may want to shy away from having such a personal stick fam. I'm talking to you lady with the Tahoe and very unique last name, that usually parks on the 5th floor, with 3 kids, a husband, and 2 dogs, and lives in a county not far from where we work. To me--you are setting yourself up to be on MSNBC's "How to Catch a Predator." And frankly, if you've watched the show you don't want any of those crazies or the host, Chris Hansen, in your life.

On a second side note--Imagine what the Duggar family stick family would look like...